So says Billy the kid (Emilio Estevez) before gunning down his latest victim in one of my favourite movies as a teenager, 'Young guns'. Kick ass soundtrack by Jon Bon Jovi too!
Anyway, as I slooooooowwwly make my way towards achieving everything I want in music (which are pretty lofty goals by the way, I actually want to win a Grammy. If the Conchords can do it..) it does bring up the issue of fame & putting yourself in the public eye. Obviously there's no way I can achieve the things I want without gaining some sort of notoriety along the way.
It's always been in the back of my mind & to be perfectly honest it terrifies me. Whether this has contributed to the length of time it's taking me to achieve anything at all is debatable but I have been pontificating on the nature of fame & why I want these things in the first place.
The way I see it as long as I'm pursuing these goals for the right reasons & with the right intentions, I should be able to avoid the various pitfalls & roadblocks that seem to derail so many talented artists. So why do I want this? What are my intentions with wanting to become a succesful musician? I've thought about this & I can only answer it's the realisation of my potential as a human being. I feel like God gave me a big chunk of talent & left me do with it what I will. You often hear the term "everyone is great at something" well, this is the thing that I'm great at. Achieving my goals is like the realisation of the purpose I was born. I don't feel I will ever be able to rest until I put all those little pieces inside me together that complete the puzzle that is my talent.
Secondly, & this is probably even more important than the first point, is the example that I am able to present for other people to see & replicate. By fully realising my own potential I'm able to show through my actions what is possible for other people to achieve by pursuing their own goals & dreams. It's not serving anyone for me to sit at a desk for 8 hours then go home to watch TV & have dinner, but if I can write an album that's still being listened to in 50, 100 years, then that's making a contribution.
I think this quote says it best:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.